live, love, laugh. (:
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
April 2012
September 2012
November 2012
December 2012
January 2013
February 2013
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
March 2015
August 2016
darling don't you ever grow up
Monday, June 9, 2014 || 7:46 PM
I crave for a lot of things.
I crave to be alone, for days when I can curl myself up into a soft chair by the window and immerse my being in alternate universes rendered by books, listen to music and feel that emotional connection (albeit one-sided) to the singers and their lyrics, think about life in all its delicate intricacy and incomparable beauty and pen these thoughts down for keepsake. I find that we as human beings tend to overcomplicate life and happiness: people toil their asses off for years for material gains, personal achievements, satisfaction, and of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting all these. But far too often, I see people losing touch with the simple joys in life and dare I say it? let a little bit of their humanity slip away in the rat-race that life in a first-world country has become for many of us. Just a few days ago my mind wandered to the issue of holding grudges - truly one of the most useless things a person could do in my opinion >< That is, of course, not to say that I don't hold grudges of my own; I am only human, after all, and there have been moments where I have felt (perhaps unnecessarily) resentful or jealous of another for an extended period of time. But when I thought about the people I used to hold grudges against and the reasons behind these negative sentiments, I realised how so very pointless harbouring these feelings were - in most cases these were trivial issues, and in all of the cases I could do absolutely nothing now to change the outcome. So...why??You could blame it on human nature I suppose, and our inherent self-seeking tendencies that drive us to feel jealous of those who have what we desire but ourselves do not possess. Hmm haha regardless, since I've come to the conclusion that holding grudges is basically an instrument of torturing and poisoning your own head and heart, I've decided to try my best to let go of those I still hold, and hopefully not bear any more in the future. Doing this can only come to good after all :) (hahaha ok not quite sure how I strayed so far from my first sentence but never mind)
I also crave for genuine friendships, for love. For infinite stretches of time being around my companions, drawing contentment and joy from theirs. And I can't deny that the notion of romantic love doesn't draw me in at this age, because it does. But perhaps it is for the very reason that I am attracted to the proliferation of romantic poems and descriptions of love that I see online (haha ok let me just emphasise to my perhaps more ship-loving friends that it is the idea of love that I'm attracted to and not an actual person in my life!!!1000% 没有 ok T^T) that I've decided not to get into a relationship for a few years at least, just because I feel that especially at this age where the phenomenon of shipping is far and wide (urghhhhh sigh) and almost everyone is looking for love, it...basically doesn't really bode well for the future of the relationship haha. I know I'm skating on very thin ice here, because indeed there are lucky couples who survive from their teenage years to adulthood and marriage, but I'm guessing there's only about 20% that actually do? So yeah long story short, I think it's true that paradoxically, one is only ready for love when one stops looking for it. Until then I'll just continue to entertain my romantic notions of The One (God willing I even have One that is... ^^;) living his life out there somewhere, oblivious to my existence - hahaha ok I should probably stop now before my gross side comes out heh ^^;
Going back to the first kind of love I mentioned (eee not a very well-organised post haha oh well) - I find that platonic love is seriously underrated today?? Having true friends who stay by your side through the good times and the bad is...an indescribable blessing, to say the least. As much as I love my occasional alone time and periods of introspection, I honestly couldn't imagine living my life without friends - and I am truly blessed to have these people whom I wouldn't give up for anything in the world ^___^ <3 Haha this was intensified recently when I read The Kite Runner, an amazing amazing story about friendship and redemption that has crept its way into being one of my favourite books of all time :)
I can literally feel my thoughts getting even more incoherent than it already was at the start so haha I guess I'll stop here for now!Hope everyone's been enjoying their holidays~ ^__^