live, love, laugh. (:

November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 April 2012 September 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 March 2015 August 2016

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralysed by it
(I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it)

Healing; need to continually remind myself that this is not something I can do overnight, and my hurting is not a sign of weakness, but a sign that I'm human. It is natural to feel pain at the loss of something that once meant so much to you, isn't it?

You'd take them back, no hesitation
That's when you know you've reached the sixth degree of separation 

And it's back to the old analogy of the gap from an extracted tooth your tongue can't help but linger at and return to time and time again; we miss things that used to be a part of us, cannot stop ourselves from dwelling on what has been lost instead of what remains. That doesn't mean you would have been better off keeping the bad tooth, for it would have stunted the growth of its surrounding teeth, would have bred germs that only bring you even worse pain in the long run, would have made you regret not removing it upon the first sight of trouble. It's hard to remember this, though, when you feel that urgent need to fill that gap with something, anything, even considering putting the bad tooth back in, just so you can feel whole again.

Maybe if I tell myself enough, maybe if I do
I'll get over you

The head is certain but the heart is equally stubborn; I know I made the right decision, but nevertheless it's going to be a while before I can stop my mind from returning to its comfort zone of thinking of you, and an even longer while before I'll be ready to trust anyone else with this stupid piece of anatomy that is my heart. I will get through this though, or at least have to believe that I will, because I am not about to let the past haunt my future.

High hopes, it takes me back to when we started
High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again
High hopes, when it all comes to an end
But the world keeps spinning around

And maybe this is a stupid and overly optimistic notion that comes from this persistently and hopelessly romantic part of me, but I'm still holding out the hope that there will come a day when someone makes me realise why it never worked out with anyone else, and how every decision that I made in my life led to that point of time. Even with everything that went wrong with us, you haven't made me give up on love (perhaps partially because it was you who introduced those feelings to me), and I thank God for that :)

We're just a box of souvenirs

I'm sorry if I sound incredibly bitter in this post, and I know it makes me sound like I regret the choice I made 7 months ago. But after all has been said and done...I truly don't. "You gave me an infinity within the numbered days, and I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity." I have shared some of the happiest days of my life so far with you, and that is something I am grateful for, even if thinking of those days still hurt at this point of time. Hoping these feelings will dissipate as time passes, and we can regain the easy friendship we once had :)