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I really wonder how you feel on these nights so alone

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here comes the hurricane
Sunday, September 15, 2013 || 12:23 AM

Haha wow it's been a really long while since I blogged! Haven't been inspired to write anything despite things that have been happening till today ><
So...MAF 2013 :)
I've been looking forward to this celebration since I first heard of it at the start of the year - maybe because MAF has never been a big thing to me (only know it's close when the fridge suddenly gets flooded with mooncakes) and it seemed a huge thing in HC! Haha at the end of it I...don't really know feel about tonight?I don't know, I think my current perception of it is largely governed by my mood today, which is one of those where my introverted self comes out and I didn't really feel like talking to people or socialising >< Sigh really came at the wrong time man I think I would've enjoyed myself so much more if I'd been high xD Not that MAF wasn't fun, cos it was but...most of the night it felt like I was outside looking in? I don't know if I'm making sense to anyone right now, but sometimes I just feel so removed from everyone and everything and sometimes it's nice and calming and welcome but other times it just makes me feel lonely and isolated - worst part is that when these moods come I honestly can't do anything about it, and neither can I choose how they make me feel :( Sigh so I...really don't know, I don't even know what the point of this post is lol but I guess it's good to let it out somehow ^^ 
I think today is the first time I'm understanding the notion of feeling alone in a crowded place - the state of reverie I found myself in, occasionally broken only when a friend approaches me, was really weird to say the least >< Haha I don't know what's wrong with me today omg but it really felt like there was this kind of self-imposed impenetrable bubble around me that made me feel so...removed from everyone else :( I do like my alone time but ahhh don't know what happened today la D: Still in this funk at the moment so maybe I'm not thinking clearly :( 
Sigh anyway everything above doesn't negate the fact that I did have a good time today :) Really hope I didn't accidentally infect anyone or anything though sigh ><

look up, the stars are fading
(maybe it's just me and my blind optimism to blame)



(without me is best)