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Sunday, September 22, 2013 || 9:39 AM
Sigh :')))) Okay number one on my post-promos to-do list: REWATCH ANASTASIA!!!
wish i could tie you up in my shoes, make you feel unpretty too
Saturday, September 21, 2013 || 12:44 AM
One week to promos!
Sigh it's been...a really hectic week >< Feel so tired everyday after coming back from school, and it honestly feels like I'm already burning out :/ Despite all this I've never felt so unprepared for a major exam before haha sigh I guess promos will show me just how good (...or bad) my improvisation skills are >< Still have this one last crucial week to go, better make it count! Bleh I...really really don't want to disappoint anyone with my results, most of all myself ._. Sigh one of the biggest pains of doing relatively well in schoolwork are the expectations that come along with it- you expect yourself to continue doing well, teachers and parents expect the same or better, even friends start adding on to the pressure that at times gets a little too much :/ Haha an apt example is how I've been doing for my AQs thus far- I feel such a gargantuan amount of pressure every time I do one, cos my GP teacher's photocopied most of the AQs I've done for the class and I feel like if I do an AQ that doesn't get printed, I'll have failed >< Haha this sounds a lot like one of those first world problems (albeit in an academic context) but yeah, come to think of it it's pretty screwed up :/ I guess there are perks to this kind of pressure, but they're mostly academic and I honestly don't really like what it's doing to my state of mind especially during stressful periods like these- feel like such a robot living the monotony of a life made up of incessant cycles of study and sleep :( Sigh I don't know if all this is gonna be worth it in the end but at least I'll know that I tried :)
Something else I've been thinking about quite a bit over the past week: I don't really know why but lately I've been realising how much more introverted I've gotten over the past few years of my life >< Haha it really looks like my levels of introversion have been increasing since my childhood- from my shameless dancing/singing performances when I was 5-ish, to my annoying-kid-in-class phase in P4-5, and the gradual becoming less and less outspoken as I grow older. It's not just that either, I used to dislike being alone quite a bit when I was younger, but now solitude's one of my favourite companions, depressing as that may sound xD Haha I don't know what happened, is this the natural course of things as one grows up? Somehow doubt so but I can't really think of any specific thing that could've contributed to this weird self-evolution T.T Anyway I guess this may be one of the major reasons for my general sense of unease about life nowadays- with everything going on in my life right now it's been a pretty long while since I've had time to just chill with myself and spend time alone doing nothing. Haha never really thought about it but I guess it's true that introverts need time to kind of "recharge" after interaction with other people! It's not that we don't enjoy the company of others or talking to them, not at all, I guess it's just that we just need more "space" :p ...lol okay why am I even talking about this sigh never mind u____u
Ahhhhh still one of my favourite songs :') <3 So heartbreaking yet beautiful ;____; Great song to karaoke to in the shower too hehe ummmm ok nvm bye
just give it to me quick
Sunday, September 15, 2013 || 3:44 PM
I'm waiting for you to finally say
You are here and here to stay
But darling, if you know that it's through
You can't keep doing what you do
(Is it time to let go of you?)
here comes the hurricane
|| 12:23 AM
Haha wow it's been a really long while since I blogged! Haven't been inspired to write anything despite things that have been happening till today ><
So...MAF 2013 :)
I've been looking forward to this celebration since I first heard of it at the start of the year - maybe because MAF has never been a big thing to me (only know it's close when the fridge suddenly gets flooded with mooncakes) and it seemed a huge thing in HC! Haha at the end of it I...don't really know feel about tonight?I don't know, I think my current perception of it is largely governed by my mood today, which is one of those where my introverted self comes out and I didn't really feel like talking to people or socialising >< Sigh really came at the wrong time man I think I would've enjoyed myself so much more if I'd been high xD Not that MAF wasn't fun, cos it was but...most of the night it felt like I was outside looking in? I don't know if I'm making sense to anyone right now, but sometimes I just feel so removed from everyone and everything and sometimes it's nice and calming and welcome but other times it just makes me feel lonely and isolated - worst part is that when these moods come I honestly can't do anything about it, and neither can I choose how they make me feel :( Sigh so I...really don't know, I don't even know what the point of this post is lol but I guess it's good to let it out somehow ^^
I think today is the first time I'm understanding the notion of feeling alone in a crowded place - the state of reverie I found myself in, occasionally broken only when a friend approaches me, was really weird to say the least >< Haha I don't know what's wrong with me today omg but it really felt like there was this kind of self-imposed impenetrable bubble around me that made me feel so...removed from everyone else :( I do like my alone time but ahhh don't know what happened today la D: Still in this funk at the moment so maybe I'm not thinking clearly :(
Sigh anyway everything above doesn't negate the fact that I did have a good time today :) Really hope I didn't accidentally infect anyone or anything though sigh ><
look up, the stars are fading
(maybe it's just me and my blind optimism to blame)
(without me is best)