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Thursday, January 10, 2013 || 7:31 PM
Head is just filled with so so so many things right now I'm actually starting to get a headache :( Sigh still having this really weird feeling of emptiness I've had since the release of the results, it seriously feels like I'm an emotionless shell cos I really feel nothing! Maybe it's just the after effects of finding out something you've been waiting for for so long, but whatever it is I really hope I'll be able to get rid of this feeling soon ._.
So...I don't really know how to feel about my results? >< Haha I guess I did pretty well by most people's standards, but (lol prepares to get stoned and chopped into pieces) (sobs I really hope I'm not being insensitive :'( :'( please forgive me if I am!!!) with this over-achieving mindset of mine I'm kind of disappointed for not doing better for French and Lit! I am really glad and incredibly grateful for my grades for the other subjects (haha cried so embarrassingly badly when I saw my L1R5 ><), don't get me wrong, but a niggling part of me tells me I could have done better, y'know? :/ And I can't help but feel guilty towards my teachers in these two subjects, especially Ms Goh since she's one of my favourite teachers ;_; Haha sighhh but it's okay, most of the disappointment's gone now and I'm really gratified and relieved for my results, thank God <3 ^^
Headed to NJC's open house with Su Jin, Joyce, Rachel and Isabel after the release of results, and we were mostly quite bored there >< Haha but it's probably cos it was a lot less crowded than VJ/AC, plus Alyssa and Marsya ma'am told me yesterday's was a lot livelier, so :o After that I started smsing and asking some RJ seniors about their lives there, and so far what I've heard from them is making me pretty scared for JC .____. I don't even know if I want to head to schools like RJ/HC anymore, I'm really not the kind of person who will be good in fighting for a decent-sized slice of cake (umm no not literally but yes some cake would be lovely now) for myself in an environment with people as smart as/smarter than me :( Haha but I don't know, really can't make up my mind now with so many things to consider :/ Heh but I suppose I should be grateful to even have the luxury of choice here, so :x
Haha ok I finally feel myself regaining some feelings!! :D Hehe see, blogging is therapeutic! ^^ It's been a seriously emotionally draining day though, and all I really want to do now is take a long long nap :| Haha need a lot of sleep to prepare myself for tomorrow's open houses!!!
To everyone who did well, congrats!!! :D And to those who didn't do as well, don't be too disheartened! ^^ As one of my seniors said, O's don't actually really matter, we're all still taking the same papers for A's so just continue working hard! :) Hehe 加油 everybuddy!!!!!!
Okayyy bye! :)